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Last night I met a lovely woman online.  We chatted for a bit and when I told her I had to go to bed because of my migraine, she told me to pray for healing.  Here is the cold hard truth: I get chronic migraines and have since I was about 16 years old.  When I was 16, I prayed my little heart out that they would go away, but after several years of prayer and a loss of my faith, I am certain that my continued migraines are not a product of a lack of faith, but rather a medical condition.

Many faithful people have chronic illnesses.  It is difficult to take seriously people who believe that illnesses and other hardships are caused by a lack of faithfulness.  Everyone has illnesses and hardships. Everybody suffers.  Faith might make it easier to get through life, but it will not shield you from suffering.  Some even believe that it will trigger more suffering in order to test you.

People with chronic illnesses are often given these sorts of platitudes: if only you prayed harder, exercised more, ate better, or even just wanted to be sick less, you would not be sick anymore.  Maybe you cannot actually understand what it is like to wake up every morning sick, unless you actually live it, but most religions encourage some level of compassion, yet these platitudes always feel like judgments.  My body is broken and yet I am being judged for not trying hard enough to be healthy.

Maybe there really is no higher power.  People are evil and judgmental by nature.  We all need to feel superior to someone else.  Compassion is weakness.  If this is true, here is what I want to know, why should we bother staying in this universe?  If there is no compassion, everyone is evil and judgmental, human beings are the pinnacle of existence, and this is all there is, is there meaning in existence?  Why do we hurt when we see others in pain?

photo credit: sleepyjeanie via photopin cc

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