Hello Reader,

It’s #fmfparty time! Linking up with Lisa-Jo and all the fabulous bloggers. This week we are: lost. This is my first time officially joining in, so we shall see how this goes.“All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring


I think I have always viewed myself as a little bit lost. Part of it is because of chronic illness, but part of it because I find myself pondering things others don’t, or if they do they don’t speak of it. This became the cardinal sin that caused me to leave the church less than two years after my baptism. I have been back a couple of times since then, most recently I spent a year assisting with a youth group. Those children were amazing and willing to ask the questions it always felt like adults brushed over. I didn’t have answers, but I think they were relieved that I didn’t have the answers. It proved that adults can be fallible.

After I left them and moved on with my life, I wandered through a labyrinth of ideas and experiences. I fell in love again with the scientific passions of my youth, but the conflict they created with my faith, what little of it there was led me to leave. Since I have been lost. Through my wonderings I have explored the teaching of the Buddha, the Greeks, Romans, Norse, Druids, Hindus, Muslims, and even Confucious. It wasn’t until my most recent encounter with Atheism that I truly felt lost.

I continue to wonder through the labyrinth. Trying to make sense of my internal opposition to Atheism, yet not being able to find the faith that would allow me to embrace the God of Christianity. Maybe I am lost, or perhaps I am just one of Tolkien’s wanderers.


Five Minute Friday

photo credit: Dalboz17 via photopin cc