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I think sometimes we try so hard to figure out the things in life. I spent hours thinking about the questions of God, the Universe and whether or not it is okay to be an atheist I realized that biggest problem with the whole event that trigered the creation of this blog was that I assumed there was something wrong with being and atheist As if the idea that science ad the idea that my matter and energy would live on without whatever it is that makes my consciousness is somehow depressing or not hopeful.

I have talked to a number of people and asked a lot of questions. I have asked a lot of questions, and many people have concluded that I am trying to get them to find God for me. In some ways maybe after many years of failed attempts to find the Christian God, I wanted to see why it is that Christians I know have so much faith. I really didn’t manage to figure out what it is that created their faith, everyone seems to have a different way of getting there. What I found was that faith and belief all come from a feeling, a feeling I seem to be unable to have relating to their God, though I definitely had a supernatural experience while camping, just that experience was related to an alter to Artemis in the forest and not the Christian God.

So, I suppose I haven’t ended up an atheist, more of a spiritual theist who isn’t really sure there is something more, but connects to the magic of nature and the forest. I still trust strongly in foundations of scientific inquiry, and am not yet willing to accept that we are all there is in the universe, though I don’t think that is a depressing thought.

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